Wednesday, March 31, 2010

18 months of silence

Yeah. 18 months since I posted anything. What a run. Yet, here I am ruining it. Anyhow, I'm not going to delete the old stuff or the blog in general. I'm not some TimeCop© who goes about altering the past. No sir. I've no interest in that. I'd rather be a LimeCop or a MimeCop, going about altering citrus fruit and/or street performers.

Anyhow, this thing used to pretend to be a blog. Now it is faded graffiti, still visible, but barely legible, on the walls of the Internet's bathroom stalls. Do not tarry here, lest you be overcome by the lingering odors and glory hole enthusiasts and, oh god... what sort of awful things might you encounter in the bathroom of the Internet. Best to stick to the living rooms and kitchens. Just as many perverts, but I think they have better manners.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

For the children




There's an idea, but what about this?


Monday, February 11, 2008

Is this how Indie Rock bands get their names?


I read about this CD Cover Meme on flickr. People are creating CD covers for fictional bands using the rules below.

1. Random Wikipedia Article
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Random Quotes
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.(You might want to click the random button at the bottom if you plan on doing more than one of theses.)

3. Random Flickr Images
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

This seems to be created by/for graphic design types. But it's a pretty good time for anybody. You don't even need to bother making a CD cover. Just get the band and album name, and see what picture pops up. You're bound to get some pretty funny combinations. I did a few. They're not very good, but I love how these three random bits end up as a pretty believable album. I mean take a look. "Degenerate into Hard Work" by the Graduates. "Rich in Life Experience" by the Atmospheric Model Intercomparison Project. I can't make this shit up. Ha. "Talk About Other People" by The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven. Apparently that's a Carmen Electra movie.



Saturday, February 09, 2008

I wrote this motivational sermon in my head this morning as I was getting ready for work. I'm hoping you're familiar with the hymn "Soon and Very Soon (We Are Going to See the King)."

Anyhow, imagine this spoken by MLK or Jesse Jackson or, just for joke, Marlee Matlin.

I have seen it in the faces of strangers passing on the street.
I can hear it in the voices of my friends and loved ones.
Despite the muck and the slush,
The snow and the cold,
A corner is being turned,
Change is in the wings.
Soon and very soon,
We are going to see the Spring!
(Choir kicks in)

It could easily be modified for an MLB spot. Something like:

From Grapefruit to Cactus or The fields are being readied
Pitchers are reporting

Probably something about fields works better with the whole slave hymn angle. Eh. I'll think about it. Hey, Bud Selig, just give me a jingle if you want to use in this in your pre-season ads.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Let's Pet Stuff



I'm a big fan of the Let's Pet Puppies sign on Ashland, just north of Roscoe. That's a store name that doesn't beat around the bush. Although it may be a blatant effort to draw children into the store (not for some creepy purpose, sicko), I appreciate the honesty. If I ever own a bar, it'll be called Let's Get Drunk. Although, in retail, this approach mightn't necessarily drive sales - Let's Sit On Furniture, Let's Try On Hats, Let's Eat Samples. They're pretty much giving away the joy of petting puppies without the hassle of cleaning up dog shit or replacing couch cushions. Anyhow. Let's pet other stuff, too.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

D as in Douche or Diamond

I should have done this at the start of the season. But I guess I'm a bit slow. Anyhow, the idea reoccurred to me after the recent series. So here it is. It could be better. But I've got until next season to clean it up so's we can make shirts. Hopefully they won't change their logo before then.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Saddest Monkey


Why must it always rain on tennis day?
Monkey is pretty much one rainy afternoon away from switching to indoor soccer.
Dang, clouds. Why you even got to do a thing?